From one mom to another

From the very second you break out the news, “I’m expecting!” you’re instantly bombarded with advice, how-to’s, and “labor room” horror stories.

By the time you’ve had your first doctor’s appointment, you’ve read every book on pregnancy published in the past decade.

You are an expert on every symptom known to woman; you know all the foods bad for you and even the ones all the books contradict themselves on.

Everyone is an expert on being a mother, even those who have never been one.

My question is, with all the advice and knowledge floating around, why has no one ever divulged the worry and fear that comes with your bundle of joy?

I mean, really, that is the one bit of advice I would have gladly welcomed. At least I would have been prepared for the horrible nightmares or the double-checking of every stranger who glances at my child.

Heaven help them if they talk­ to her! And with that bit of advice I never got, I would have given a million dollars to the one mom who told me how to deal with it.

The fears begin before you meet your newborn; fears of a miscarriage, baby’s health, falling and hurting him/ her; the list goes on. And then you take your newborn home and lie awake all night, afraid to sleep for the very real fear of SIDS claiming your child’s life. You fear illness, kidnapping, poisoning, drowning, car accidents, and these are all before your child starts school!

Before kids, I would lie awake and think of wonderful things. I actually enjoyed that time of night when my mind would wander; I often looked forward to it.

Now, one of two things happens when I can’t sleep. Either I think of interesting writing material I’m too tired to write down, (hence this article idea) or I lie awake in the horror of all the tragic and inconceivable things that could happen to my children.

When my head hits the pillow, I pray for sleep to find me quickly, or else I’m sick to my stomach for hours on end as my active imagination takes over.

To control my fears, I have taken significant effort to avoid the news or stories of children that have been hurt or killed. But like a powerful magnet, I am drawn to them as a “precaution” for my own children’s safety. This habit only fuels that nasty imagination of mine. What is a mom to do in this ever-changing and scary world?

2 Timothy 1:7a “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;”

Psalm 56:4 “In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.”

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God:”

When I brought Sadie home for the first time, I was a wreck. She was jaundice, she choked when she nursed, and SIDS was a constant fear. I remember feeding her and after the third or fourth time of her gagging on her milk, I broke down in helpless sobs.

I felt so incompetent, so inept to help my baby or keep her from harm. My wise husband put his arm around me and told me I may never keep my baby from every harm that comes her way. I can only do what I can and the rest I need to leave to God.

And right there on our couch, with Sadie in my arms, we gave our daughter to God.

And every night since, especially when the fear takes hold, I tell God that my children are His. I tell Him I understand nothing happens without His knowledge and if He takes or afflicts my baby, I would do my best to remember that He is in control. I ask God for many more years with my children and I thank Him for His precious gifts.

After I say “Amen” I snuggle under my covers and feel the anxiety lift.

Remembering that God is in control gives me a peace that I could never find for myself. With the devil at bay, I can look forward to a good night’s sleep, and who knows, it might even bring back those pleasant thoughts long since abandoned.

Scroll to Top
Skip to content